07/15/08

137 Days, Chuck Fritz

How does one explain their feelings of finding, then losing in 137 days, the most beloved thing in his life? I don’t even know if it is possible to put into words the incredible joy and happiness that Hong brought into my life during that brief period of time. I know I am one of the luckiest men on earth to have such a woman love me and want to spend the rest of her life with me. I am still amazed at what she saw in me. But I will not demean her love by saying I wasn’t worthy of it. I would have done anything for her and treated her as the angle that she truly was and is now. I have never had the honor of knowing someone as special in every aspect of life as Hong was. Anyone who knows her knows what I mean. She could light up any room she entered with her smile and exuberance for life. You could tell she was a dancer by her entrance also, Hong did not just walk into a room, more like she flowed into it with such grace and elegance it was as if she were floating. I will miss watching her entrance. She had such a desire and willingness to help in anyway she could to make others happy. How does one measure time in the company of such a person? By the day? The hour? The minute? Or by every act of kindness she afforded me. I thought I had been in love many times in my life but hers was beyond comparison to any other. She was a person who could change me in ways no other ever had, nothing had worth unless she showed an interest in it and then it became priceless to me. She was the only person in my life that I wanted to be proud of me. And made me want to live my life so that she was. She lived her own life with such dedication, courage, determination and discipline inter-mixed with pure joy, excitement and enlightenment. I think my dear Hong lived more in her 48yrs then most do in a full lifetime. She lived her life by example never expecting more then she was willing to give and always giving more then she would ever ask for in return. I have never known a love like hers before and never will again. It was that rare, that special a God given love, that only a small portion of mankind ever is blessed to know. He, given such a gift as this love, blessed us and we were both happier then either of us had ever been in our lives. We were brought together by our Lord in this life and will be again in the next. It is His Promise to us and we both have faith in its deliverance. The greatest gift that Hong gave me was the pleasure of being able to make her last days on earth her happiest. Knowing how she spoke of her past to me I only wish I could have given years of this gift back. But I can never compete with the happiness she is experiencing now with her Lord in Heaven. My dearest Hong I will never be able to measure the impact you have on my life, not by my tears which seem to have no end, not by the degree my heart aches every time I walk alone where we once walked together, not by the overwhelming emptiness I feel every time I enter what was to be our home. I can not measure what is not over, for you are still with me, still caring for me, still interacting with me as a Angle does and I thank you every day. We all have an Angle in her now. An Angle who is doing her good works in Heaven for us, watching over us, wanting to help us as she always did. We honor you with our memories but we bless you with our prayers. I will pray for you for your precious rain for your mother and father and your sisters and we will all be together in the end. I loved you on what seems to be every plain of existence as a Mother a Daughter a Sister and a Spouse. We talked about loving each other as if we were all of these. This is a Christ given love we both believed in. A star blinked out in our universe July 19th and our world became a darker place with out you.

WO AI NI HONG WO XIANG NI